about the Luddite


About the Luddite

The Webmistress

I am a nice, sweet person with a dark, antisocial core. (Like the movie "The Core", which is neither dark nor antisocial, but made me want to die, somehow) I like monsters, what else is there to say? And yeah, I would eat college boy, but not raw. I mean, c'mon. (I've changed my mind on this now. I would eat it raw, if it was very, very fresh.) I've never been a writer, but I have stories in my head that have to go somewhere. Thanks to the moral (?) support and encouragement of some friends, I have begun writing.

I'm kind of obsessed with the weird and horrible. Old Goths never die, they just return from the grave. 

Age: arright, arright...I'm nearly 36 now.  Shaddap.

Sex: Female, Confirmed Bachelorette

Favorite drink(s): Tequila, coffee ...not at the same time.

Favorite food(s): Homemade tamales, dark chocolate ...not at the same time. Favorite special treat - bananas foster in a crepe with Nutella drizzled in it. (oooo, shiver... there really are things that are better than sex)

Favorite kind(s) of music: Spanish guitar, klezmer and gypsy swing, Yo-Yo Ma ...not at the same time.

Favorite bedmate(s): Heath Ledger, Alan Rickman ...at the same time.

Occupation: I own a small business in a small town. I hope to someday have a seedy hole-in-the-wall fortune-telling parlor/marital aids/novelty and gag gifts store. Yes, all at once.

The Reading List

Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel - I am surprised I didn't weep all over the pages, or drip food onto them.  Oh, how wonderful this book is.

Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund - WOW, this book is amazing!

The L.A. Quartet by James Ellroy, consisting of The Black Dahlia, The Big Nowhere, L.A. Confidential, and White Jazz. GRITTY. Like Sam Spade meets David Lynch

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke - a fascinating, whimsical fairy tale. Literally.

Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier- Gripping from the first sentence to the last. This is my No.1 book.

One Hundred Years Of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez - one of the most beautiful stories ever, I thought it was better than Love In The Time Of Cholera.

Red Dragon, Silence of the Lambs, and Hannibal by Thomas Harris - I read the first two when Hannibal hadn't been written yet, and thought Red Dragon was a vastly superior book.  I considered Silence of the Lambs to be good, but Clarice Starling a bit fluffy and vapid compared to Will Graham.  Then Hannibal was published and I reread them.  The second reading reversed my judgement; I saw that SotL was more subtle, the characters more developed, and best of all, my favorite guy, Dr. Lecter himself, played a far more central role.  They are all outstanding, in my opinion.

My Name Is Red by Orhan Pamuk - translated from Turkish, set in the height of Ottoman power.

The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury - actually this was the first real book I ever read, and to this day I love every bit of it.

The Man Who Was Thursday by G. K. Chesterton - blew me away.

The Fox Woman by Kij Johnson - a Japanese fairytale with very unexpected turns.

Tales of Paradys, and Tales of Venus by Tanith Lee - very weird, very imaginative, and the best last sentence of a story ever. Also Black Unicorn, Gold Unicorn, and Red Unicorn.

The Serpent and the Rainbow by Wade Davis - one of three non-fiction books I've really enjoyed. It's about the culture of Haiti, voudoun, zombies, and secret societies. The others (non-fiction I liked) were Rush Limbaugh Is A Big, Fat Idiot by Al Franken - outdated now, but it was a riot when I read it in the 90's - and How To Cook A Wolf by M.K. Fischer.

Anais Nin - anything, especially Little Birds and Delta Of Venus.

Cosmic Banditos by A.C. Weisbecker. Hilarious. Brilliant.

Neverwhere and American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Actually, everything by Neil Gaiman.

A Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood - every woman should read it.

The Diary of Adam and Eve's Diary by Mark Twain - will make you laugh and cry.

The Talisman by Stephen King - Yes, that's what I said.  I've read it three times and love it dearly.

Portrait of A Young Man Drowning by Charles Perry - I read this after seeing the movie that was (very loosely) based on it.  The movie is a dark comedy.  There is nothing funny about the book, but it's excellent.

The Passion by Jeanette Winterson - this book was excerpted in an anthology (haha) of female-authored erotica.  Wonderful. Sigh.

Photographing Fairies by Steve Szilagyi - hee hee!  A fairy tale of ironic proportions.

The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester.  Outrageous Sci-fi adventure/thriller/romance(?)/...etc.  It's REALLY wacky. The Count of Monte Cristo, in space, on acid.

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck - I loved it when I read it (twice) in high school, and loved it enough to read it again along with the two sequels.  Pearl Buck wrote a lot of other wonderful stories set in China, but this is my favorite.

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis - these are the first real stories my mother read to me.  I can remember when I was 3 and 4 years old, getting a chapter at a time, learning to say 'Rumblebuffin'.

The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien - well, of course.  How could I not love them?  Dragons!

The Keys To The Kingdom by Garth Nix - this series is still being written, but I loved it from the beginning.  It's similar to Harry Potter in some ways, but more imaginative and ironic, I think.  Style very similar to Neil Gaiman.

Watership Down by Richard Adams - I don't particularly like rabbits, they are slightly cuter-than-usual rodents IMO, and are just fast-moving food to me.  However, this book did change my perspective a bit.  I know it's fiction, and rabbits don't really have organized societies like this, but still, it makes you sympathize deeply.  The sequel was disappointing; I wouldn't bother.  Other books in the same genre I've read are The Plague Dogs, also by Richard Adams, which is excellent but heartbreaking to the point of making any animal lover homicidal, and Mrs. Brisbee And The Rats of NIMH.

All of the Conan stories by Robert E. Howard.  You don't know Conan if you're thinking Ah-nold in those goofy movies.  Adventure, mayhem, magic, and good old-fashioned barbarian fun!

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger - I read this last year, and after all this time I realize it was a great book.  It sticks in my mind so richly.

Personal Heros

Frida Kahlo - need I say more?

Benjamin Franklin - what an incredible guy! Happy 300th B-day, Ben!

Rasputin - A man with a vision and a huge pecker, which is now on display in a museum. The penis, not the vision.

George Washinton Carver - who gave us Peanut Butter.

Mark Twain - read the Diaries of Adam and Eve.

Salad Fingers - look it up. fat-pie

John Waters - the man who loves the word 'pubic'.

Favorite Movies

1. (a tie) Metropolis - for god's sake not colorized, turn down the color settings on your TV

1a. Wings of Desire

2. Das Boot

3. The Elephant Man - a movie guaranteed to make me blubber in tears at the end every time.

4. Miller's Crossing - Style to the umpteenth power. This was before the Cohen Brothers started making comedies.  Ok, I was mistaken here, Raising Arizona came out before this.

5. Jacob's Ladder

All these others are in no particular order.

Santa Sangre

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover


Donnie Darko

Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Brazil - tied with another Gilliam treasure, The Adventures of Baron Munschausen

Blue Velvet

Mad Max/The Road Warrior

The Company of Wolves

The Last Temptation of Christ

Angel Heart

Apartment Zero

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939) Has one of the most erotic movie moments ever, when Frollo is staring at Esmerelda. ...oooo, shiver.

The Piano - another of the most erotic movie moments ever, when Baines touches the little hole in her stocking.

That Obscure Object of Desire/The Discreet Charms of the Bourgeoisie - classic surrealism by Luis Bunuel.

The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari

Muppet Treasure Island - No, I'm not kidding. This is a gem.

Titus - Julie Taymor is a genius with this gritty, gruesome poetry. God bless Anthony Hopkins, who is THE MAN.

The Wiz - YES!  The Motown verson of the Wizard of Oz, featuring Diana Ross, Richard Pryor, and Pre-Surgery Michael Jackson.  I sing and dance along every time I watch it.  Of course, I also sing and dance along to:

The Nightmare Before Christmas - And they call him Sandy Claws!!

Joe vs. The Volcano - I love it.  LOVE IT.

Being John Malkovich - I would never have watched this movie, because, you know - John Malkovich, eugh - but it is one of the WEIRDEST, freakiest, most bizarre, hilarious movies ever made.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - if you've ever seen To Wong Foo, you've seen the crappy American rip-off of this Fabulous movie.

Memento - *SPOILER* - any movie that kills Joey Pants is a WINNER in my book. A movie that begins with Joey Pants getting killed is a dream come true.  Besides that, it's a fantastic movie.

Bound - thinking of Joey Pants getting killed reminded me of this one.  A treat all around.

Whale Rider - a tale of a Maori girl and her grandfather.

Ekstase (Ecstasy) - this is an absolute treasure from 1933, starring Hedy Lamarr.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead - the one with Tim Roth and Gary Oldman.  A treat of wit.

Eulogy - it's a screamer.  Who knew funerals could be so funny?

Babette's Feast - if you love food...

28 Days Later - by the director of Trainspotting, another excellent one.

Primer - definitely bears repeated watchings.  There's no way you can understand it from one viewing.  Or even four.

Requiem For A Dream - I can't believe no one told me for 6 YEARS how awesome this movie is.

I love movies, but obviously I can't list all 500 of my favorites. 


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